Pictures on the Wall

Others may not like the idea of putting collage photos on the wall especially inside your own room. But for me, I don’t care much about the idea of having a good room designs or ambience. I considered putting photos on the wall more interactive and refresh my minds because they remind me always of the wonderful moments I spent with the people, the places and occasions captured in those photos.

I displayed the pictures on the left side of my bed so I had the chance to view them at once before I close my eyes at night and by the time I wake up in the morning. Having someone to remember is pleasing enough to my heart. It doesn’t matter where they are now, as long as they are in my heart. These people inspire me and I am convinced that they love me for what I am.

Searching

Sunset at Baywalk

Sometimes, I need to experience everything so that I would learn.
There's no easy way in living life so I live it as it is.
I Cry.
I Laugh.
I go crazy.
But I don't miss the chances that life is giving me
because the most important things are not things at all.
Most of the time,
they are the PEOPLE
making my life worth living.

Searching for love had been a mystery for me.
I’ve been told that if I want love, I have to search for it.
Some said I have to wait,
but human as we are,
we need someone more than just a companion.
We need someone who could complete us.
Many may have found it so easy

and many can lost it in just a snap.

I intentionally lost it once,

but without searching,

it came back to me unexpectedly.

Unless your heart,
your soul
and your whole being are behind every decision you make,
the words from your mouth will be empty
and the actions will be meaningless.
Truth and confidence are the roots of happiness.

To be loved is to live in someone's heart.
Don't hold something in your arms
that you are not willing to hold in your heart.

Waging his tail instead of his mouth…

"A dog is a man's best friend."

Raising a pup is a lot of hard work, but it gives back fulfillment! A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

I never thought I'd ever be so excited about having a puppy, although, I am a pet-lover ever since.

I can buy more clothes, spend lavishly for my needs…be a philanthropist.. show my concern for other people… but seldom to receive a warm loyalty like what a pet dog can give. He is worthy of such devotion. Dogs don't lie. When strangers come, they growl and bark, they know their loved ones in the dark. As long as your demeanor carries with it the promise of affection (and good food!) he will protect you at all times.

We brought Jefjef, my new puppy, from Manila to our hometown (almost 500 km) before the holiday and I was quite anxious that he might get sick of long travel and feel snotty of his new home in the province. At first I saw his reluctance since he was secluded miles away from his other siblings. When we arrived, he was uneasy and preferred to be in his cage most of the times. All the while I thought he’s sick and enervated coz he didn’t eat well. But when my nieces started to play with him, he started to be brisky and feels that he has a new home. He never sleeps near with anyone except beside me nor can sleep well without me.

He chases me wherever I go.
He feels annoyed when I ignore him.
When no one wants to play with him, Jefjef is having fun with “Donkey”, my cuddly teddy pony (a gift to me by Rachel Alejandro’s mother “Myrna” 15 years ago) .

I talk to him when I'm lonesome and I'm sure he understands. I play with him when I’m happy and I feel he loves to see me always happy. When he looks at me so attentively, and gently licks my hands; then he rubs his nose on my
clothes, that’s the time I feel his genuine affections.

Since I had much time during my vacation, I get along with my Jefjef the best that I can. Of course, there’s my family who can assure me his comfort at home, (just like what they are doing to our 2-year old house-guard dog “Dambo” and to my brother’s shitsu pet “Specks” ) while I’m away and will be gone for quite a long time. Jefjef has been doing great lately.

Soon, he will be joined by another pup, and most likely his match, whom I will call “Basha”.

Actually, the great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.

I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we might be if we weren't certain we knew better.

They fight for honor at the first challenge… make love with no moral restraint… That’s how dogs differ from the human being.



Why jefjef?

He has no name yet when we got him. My family suggests to name him Pacquiao, Pacul, Nero, Spike, Dingdong, etc., but I decided to baptize him Jefjef, hoping that he will be like my 2 “Jeffrey” friends who are kind, nice and lovable.

We socialize him and keep him from getting territorial by bringing him in town whenever we’re out. We've been trying to take him everywhere we go so he can meet new people and get comfortable with strangers. We never let him stay in his cage. He's such a friendly dog!

I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.

I missed my Jefjef… my pet….. my loyal and trusted friend ..

Talagang "Di Na Ganun!"

Di Na Ganun
by: Yeng Constantino

Paano na lang kung ako ang iiyak sa iyo
Paano na yan buti kung may magawa pa ako
E paano na kung ako na ang nahihirapan
Magagawa ko ba sa'yo na bigla kang talikuran

[*]
Wala na ang dating tamis
At sa tingin ko'y di ko na maibabalik

[Chorus:]
Bakit di ko maaming wala na ang dating damdamin
Di na ganun
At hindi ko na kayang piliting muli mong angkinin
Di na ganun

Paano na lang kung biglang masabi ko sa iyo
Buti kung intindihin mo ako
Paano kaya kung ikaw ay akin nang iwasan o iwanan

(Repeat * and Chorus)

Ibubulong na lang sa hangin ang aking nararamdaman
Nalilito na ako pa'no mo ba malalaman

(Repeat Chorus Twice)

Best of Life

Some won’t appreciate what you say or do, but as long as you speak honestly from the heart, you’ll be fine. This is not a perfect life, but life loves the person who dares to live it by being real.

When people walk away from you, let them go. Your destiny is never tied to anybody who leaves you. And it doesn't mean that they are bad persons, it just means that their part in the story is over


How to get the best out of your life?

Face your past without regret, don’t be disappointed by the lost of the people who never been kind to you, handle your present with confidence, live a new life always, and prepare for the future without fear, treasure the people who never let you down.

Keep the faith and drop the fear. Don't believe your doubts and don't doubt your beliefs.



Time and things don't really last. What matters are the people we care about and the values we dare to live and share.

If people have to leave us in one way or another, it would be best if they'll do it 100% lie-free and just slap the truth in our faces. We all do deserve something better than just lame excuses because lies in all sort do make us appear stupid.

It is wiser not to expect, but to hope. For in expecting, we meet disappointments; whereas in hoping, we invite surprises.







Life can be happier and less stressful if we remember one simple thought: We can't have all that we desire but GOD will give us all that we deserve.
Life is wonderful if you know how to live!

Meant To Be.....

If it's meant to be, our hearts will find each other even when we are apart. And if our hearts melt together so will our bodies and soul. Then, every word and every touch will fuel our passion flame. I'll be yours, you'll be mine, and we'll be one till the end of time.

Down the Memoray Lane

While walking along the Timog Avenue, I stroll down memory lane and drop by some of my favorite places. But first, I scope out the area to see what’s new.

Before, parking was not a problem, but now, we have to ditch the wheels away from the place kung saan kami pupunta.

Food and entertainment now are never a problem in Morato and Timog Avenue. You can find restaurants, bars and entertainment venue till daybreak.

However, traffic and parking was (and still is) a pain in the ass especially on Friday and Saturday nights.

The area which we frequently visited 10 years ago was different now, everytime we go out with my friends noon, mas prefer talaga namin ang kahabaan ng Timog Avenue. Aside from being familiar with the place, malalapit ang mga places na gusto naming puntahan.

Honestly, I find myself getting sentimental while reminiscing the past. Ang dami kasing mga memorable experiences na nangyari sa akin at sa mga friends ko sa place na ito. But then when I look around, ibang-iba na ito kaysa sa dati.

Before, we used to go to Jailhouse Rock (now replaced by William's (?) billiard), Music Box, Gimik Bar, Padi’s Point, etc., then before we parted ways we took some good food sa Food Plaza katabi ng Lithauz, where we meet some of my friends working in bars. Then sabay-sabay na kaming umuuwi.

It was during that time na nakilala ko ang mga sing-along masters (who at that time hindi pa masyadong sikat) like Ate Gay, Patricia Ismael, Vice Ganda, Moymoy, Trissa and some celebrities also. Sa dami ng nakilala namin, it was Ferdie B., member of Glady’s and the Boxer, who was a regular host of JHR, ang naging ka-tropa namin. Magkakasama kami during weekends strolling, bar hopping and adventuring. It is also in this part of QC that I met my real friends who until now, ay buo pa rin eventhough we had lives of our own at may kanya-kanya nang buhay.



Sa pagpunta namin all together sa lugar na ito, ang sarap balikan ang mga tawanan, biruhan, kulitan, at tampuhan which made our friendship strong.

A Satisfying Vacation

On my journey, I don’t try to figure out where I will find true happiness. I just try to make others happy… and to my surprise, happiness finds me there…

I know nothing lasts forever and sometimes we won’t always stay together, but every smile and laughter I shared with people during my journey back home, convinces me that the memories will last for the rest of my life.

Family Bond

Happiness is not something in my hand; it is something that I carry in my heart.

To my siblings, John and Nene, you didn’t change at all except that we all grow and our love to each other never fades. Eventhough our father passed away, we never had any misunderstanding at all. I am so proud that our parents brought us this way. Never in our life na naging madamot tayo sa isa’t-isa. Never tayong nagkaroon ng away or nagkasakitan because that’s what they told us to do – to love and help each other.

To my in-laws and in-law to be – thanks for making our family bigger and closer.

To my nieces and nephews – I feel your compassion and respect. I know, you will go on rightfully with your journey in life kasi you grow up the way your parents used to be.

How can i forget my favorite angels – Angela and Angelie – make the most that your father provides you. Kahit malayo siya, try to feel his presence by being so caring and obedient to your mom.

To Mic-mic – my nephew – thanks for being my driver everywhere I go. Kahit alanganing oras, I have to wake you up para samahan ako. Hindi biro ang mag drive within the streets of Metro Manila, lalo na from Manila to Legazpi, but you manage to do it.

To Ding – take good care of Jef-jef and wish you the best with Harold.

To Che-che – just study hard. Alam mo naman that I am always here and I promise my full support till you got your degree.

To my mom – take good care of yourself. Sana everything will be okey, magagawa natin yon coz I promised to Papa that I will take care of you no matter what it takes.

My family is my life… my only first..

I thank you all for the warm hugs and making my vacation worth to be remembered when I get back to Riyadh. I know I got a home of my own.

Friendship Ties (Shala friends)

Friends are never coincidence in my life, they are meant to enter my life to bring comfort, affection, joy and laughter, that’s why I treasure the friendship of people who give me their trust and respect. I am so fortunate to have them let me feel my importance as a friend.

To Dave – thanks for your company. Although alam ko you’re much busy and entangled (huh?), but you manage to break out para lang makasama sa gimik. I understand if sometimes mahirap humanap ng free time. In fairness, nabigla ako sa laki ng bahay mo. Who wouldn’t think at your age, magkakaroon ka ng ganong kalaking investment. Always love your family. Just like me, I know how much you love them. Don’t give up and don’t forget to ask for His guidance. I’ll think of what we could do business together when I get back. Idol kita sa diskarte.he.he.he.he.he

To Lester – I know I am part of what you are today. Pasensya na sa mga tantrums ko before. I feel how you reciprocate the things that I have done to you. You’re such a trusted friend. I know how you really want to finish your studies. Konting tiyaga pa. I’ll do what I can when you finish your studies.

To Mar – thanks for making my vacation so “damn-satisfying”. Hindi ka talaga nauubusan ng supply!. Gaya ng dati, lakas pa rin ng PR mo. I know we can still see each other and your kindness is always rewarded by the blessings you are getting now. It pays to be kind.

Hope to have more shala on our bonding moments next time.

To my new added acquaintance friends, Carlo, Francis, KYNG, Jeff, Alex, G4M hunters and many more. I hope someday you’re still within my reach.

Most of all, to my “sweetie” … I found the missing piece of my life. I know it will be hard for us.. a choice which is volatile for both of us, an unpredictable conviction .. but with all the things we’ve shared, the times we cared.. I believe everything will be great again.. Thanks for being part of my life… again. You’re always be my baby!

There is no perfect life….but we can fill it with perfect moments..

Unexpectedly

Minsan, when you least expected, may kusang nangyayari o dumarating sa atin na sadyang nag papaalala sa ating nakaraan.

Sa nagsangang daan, hindi mo alam kung sino ang makakasalubong mo..mga iba't-ibang tao, mga bagong mukha at sa hindi mo inaasahan ang mga taong matagal mo nang kilala.

Sa tagal ng panahon hindi natin inaakala na kusang manumbalik ang ating nakaraan. Absence may be so long that we start learning to live without the past lalo na ang mga taong nakalimutan na natin.

In almost a decade that I left Manila, may mga taong naiwanan ko na hindi ko akalaing makikita kong muli at makakakuha ako ng impormasyon on how they are doing at present.

You lost contact…
You didn’t see each other…
You had no ideas what happened..

Kaya pag nabigyan kayo ng pagkakataon unexpectedly, andoon yong sense of belongingness, excitement at saya na mararamdaman mo towards each other..

Life is not Easy

Sto Domingo Church in Albay where part of the movie Kailangan Kita (2002) was shoot.

I never regret a day in my life because I know God has a purpose of giving me moments that I must cherish and considered to be essentials to my life.

Good day gives me happiness..
Bad days teach me experiences..
Nice people makes me feel great..
Kaya naman even if I had a bad day, at the end of the day I still thank the Lord for letting me know that there is always opposite of everything...
that there is always a choice.

Sometimes we need to experience everything and meet everyone so that we would learn that there is no easy way in living life.

The most important things are not the things at all, most of the times, they are the people making my life worth living.

God give me people to cherish, but He also introduced me to people whom are not worth to be with- na kailangan kong ingatan at wag pag aksayahan ng panahon. I know He wanted me to care for everyone, pero siguro mas kailangan kong i-reciprocate ang mga kindness ng mga taong nagmamahal sa akin.

God’s love lightens my life. His kindness molds me to a better person and he is my guide as I travel the road of life. Very often, my life becomes better sa hindi ko paglimot tumawag sa kanya may problema man o wala.

He has a purpose for all that is happening in this world. Be it something good or bad, he never willed our lives to be like hell.

I never pray for an easy life, Instead I pray to be a stronger person and ask for enough power to conquer my tasks.

It is in this life that problems come and go but just like baseball, it is the hard pitches that give meaning to it.

My Road...My Life.. My World...

There are things we regret…
Words we wish had gone unsaid…
Starts that had bitter endings..
Chances we threw away..
Roads we should have never taken…
Signs we didn’t see…
Hearts we hurt needlessly..
and wounds we wish we could mend.

But life gets that much harder..
The past can’t be rewritten
but it can make us stronger…

I’m thankful
for every change life
has thrown me..
For every break in my heart…
for every scar..
Some pages were turned…
Some bridges were burned,
but I have lessons learned
When I rolled triumphantly through several
CROSSROADS
in my life…

New Year...New Life

There's nothing more memorable than to spend the new year with the whole family. For more than 10 years, ngayon ko lang ulit nakasama ang family ko.

Noong nabubuhay pa ang father ko, our reunion held during new year. Sinisiguro niya na lahat kami kompleto at sabay sabay na mag salo-salo sa Noche Buena. However, simula noong pumunta ako ng ibang bansa, hindi na ako nakakauwi tuwing new year.

Kahit malakas ang ulan, tuloy pa rin ang saya ng buong pamilya. Dahil sa ulan, medyo nabawasan ang nagpapaputok sa amin. Good i decided not to buy firecrackers dahil alam ko sayang lang naman. Nagtiyaga na lang kami sa mga torotot at lakas ng pagpapatugtog sa loob ng bahay.

At exactly 12:00 midnight tumigil bahagya ang ulan at lumabas kami lahat to watch and greet our neighbors.

On New Year's Day, it was my first attendance to the sunday Mass in our place and it was also a time for me to thank my patron saint, St. Vincent Ferrer, who i always ask for guidance since childhood. Since i arrived, it was only that day na pumunta ako sa kanya at humingi ng despensa na hindi ko kaagad siya nadalaw. It was also the first Friday kaya maraming tao sa palengke at simbahan.

I saw all the flowers which i donate doon sa kanyang "Andas". Medyo luma na pero andoon pa rin. I always bought flower decorations para sa church namin, kaso till now wala pa rin yong bagahe ko where i put all the new flowers para sa church.

For me, marami akong dapat baguhin for my life this 2009. Hindi siya resolutions pero ito yong mga bagay about me, my family at yong kadalasan ay naglalagay sa akin sa alanganin.

I need to thank people na laging nandyan para sa akin - lalong-lalo na ang family ko.

I appreciate also the kindness na binibigay sa akin ng mga kaibigan ko, in better or worse. Sila yong mga nagbibigay lakas sa akin in times of trouble.

Not in my House!

I watched an indie film in Robinsons Galleria recently with my friends. Dapat sana panoorin namin yong Dose, but i was curious sa "Lovebirds".

The movie is tackling the story of a discreet gay and a conservative mother.

Lovebirds is Ronaldo “Roni” Bertubin’s third independent film. The movie stars Boots Anson Roa, Tommy Abuel, Adrian Ramirez, and Joseph Ison and introducing Andres Alexis Fernandez, and with the special participation of Johnron Tanada.




Although walang masyadong nudity, naaliw ako sa movie because of Boots Anson Roa. Siya yong mother na hindi matanggap ang gender ng kanyang anak na nagkaroon ng chat lover from Spain, Alexis.

In a situation na kailangan niyang itago sa mga tao ang tunay na pangyayari, kung ano-anong dahilan ang kanyang sinasabi para wag lang ma tsismis na ang anak niya ay may lover na gay foreigner.

Nakakaaliw ang dialogue niyang "not in my house", "not in my property" at "not in front of me".

It was one of the best indie films na napanood ko.

Synopsis: Alexis is a foreigner who came to the Philippines to meet his chat mate Mario. As a filipino culture, visitors are welcome by family host with welcoming party of food, fiesta and people. When Alexis visited Mario, Mario’s parents told the neighborhood that Alexis is a girl, but surprisingly it was Alex. Mario’s mother denied that he was Alexis and introduced him as Alex the brother of Alexis to the neighborhood. His parents known about Mario’s sexuality until at the end Alexis become closer and fell inlove with Mario. With all the laugh and cry. A story of a foreigner in another country, different culture, and acceptance of love will have all a happy ending.

A Decade of Real Friendship...

Life itself has to be larger than everything we encounter within it.

It was mid-summer in 1996 when I met Allan. He was 16 that time. Medyo patpatin pero guwapo. Walang pasok noon kaya gimik sila lagi. Louie, our teacher-friend introduced Allan to us, estudyante daw niya. We invited Allan for a drinking spree sa pad ni Louie, just infront of Olongapo General Hospital.


Kinabukasan, I woke up by a knock on the door.. Medyo half sleep pa ako ng buksan ko. Si Allan bumalik. Akala ko kung ano na, but he handed-over to me the lighter which he unintentionally took ng umalis sila kagabi. I was surprised, kasi lighter lang, but he took the effort of giving it back to me. After giving him a breakfast, umalis din siya. This time, I gave my number para kung gusto niya akong tawagan at lumuwas ng Manila, welcome siya sa tinutuluyan namin.

Sa gesture niyang iyon at his age, naging magaan ang loob ko sa kanya. Hanggang sa lumuwas siya ng Manila at naging maganda ang samahan namin. Kahit sa agwat ng aming edad, hindi niya ako tinuring na iba sa kanya. Marami kaming naging problema being friends pero dahil sa pinagsamahan namin, naging mas matibay ang aming friendship till now.

Si Dave, despite of his being young and feeble-minded, naging close kami. Isa ring galing sa broken family. But despite of being frail, I’ve seen that he is determined to reach his goal. I encourage him to go back to school which he did. He tried in showbizness, pero sandali lang. He appeared in several movies and guested in a TV show.

Now, after several years, naging successful na siya. Si Allan naman, one year na lang matatapos na niya ang nursing course niya. Kaya naman i'm so happy na naging achievement nila. I promised Allan na after he graduated, kung gusto niyang magtrabaho abroad, tutulungan ko siya.

BONDING MOMENTS

Nothing could ever be more rewarding than to see your friends, especially yong mga natulungan mo, na masayang nagsama-sama at sabay-sabay na binabalikan ang mga nangyari noon.




After watching the Pacquiao-dela Hoya fight at SM, it was time to meet our SE Talents here in Manila. Halos lahat na tinawagan ko ay dumating coz they are all excited to see each other.

Gerald Mudlong, who is graduating next year, arrived first. He told me that he's doing well sa La Salle taking up ECE. No doubt, dahil sa talino niya, he's included in the Dean's List. He looks matured na kasi medyo nagdag-dag ng timbang.

Grace, at first, medyo nag aalangang pumunta kasi kailangan daw niyang bumili ng damit for their creative pictorial. Bu later on decided to come. And in a few minutes dumating nga siya. Laki ng pinagbago ni Grace after na mag break sila ni Josh. Now, she is more of a great single lady na ine-enjoy lahat ng pagiging single. She has changed to a strong, charming, more confident and beautiful lady.

Maya-maya dumating na rin sina Rev, Triss, Princess and Aja. They all look great and i'v seen that they adjust to the lifestyle in Manila. I was so grateful dahil they have been doing well in school at hindi sila nagpapadala sa mga bad influences and they grow up smarter than what i expected.


In a few minutes dumating sina Dave and Ryan. Dave looks thinner but Ryan gains much weight.

Edcor and Edzel arrived and we started to dine.


Medyo nahuli si Manay Tez coz galing pa siya sa Antipolo.

We finished our dinner at 8:30pm. Medyo bitin daw so they decided to go to Music 21 for more bonding moments. Lahat excited na mag bonding sa isang private place. Of course sa konting inuman, kantahan, food, etc., lahat naging sulit ang pagkikita-kita






During our bonding, nakita ko how they enjoy singing, drinking and cracking jokes. We ordered food kaya forget muna ang diyeta ng iba. At least after years of not seeing each other, kalimutan muna ang diyeta.

Edna arrived late kasi galing pa siya sa isang church choir practice. Edna changed a lot. Dati, mahiyain siya but now she has that confident na natutunan niya sa SE. She told me privately na nagkaroon siya ng tiwala sa sarili,sa pananamit, sa school participation, sa pakikitungo sa iba, all because of SE. Kaya ng malaman niya na gusto kong i-meet lahat, she made it sure na makakapunta siya.

We spent almost 3 hours na masayang masaya. How they wish daw na laging may magbabakasyon para laging mag-sama-sama.

First Play

December 6 - 6:00 pm

We proceed to YMCA Manila and met Quiambao's brothers Edcor and Edzel para maglaro ng badminton.

Excited kaming lahat since ang tagal na naming di nagkita simula noong mag college sila sa Manila.

Both are still wearing their school uniforms at laking tuwa nila ng makita ako. Nag kumustahan habang papasok kami ng YMCA. Maraming tao sa loob ng badminton court, mostly mga students. Dali-dali silang nagpalit ng damit at inumpisahan na maglaro. I am with my mother, brother andmy nephew - who played with us too.


Sa sobrang gigil sa laro (coz Edcor and me haven't played for almost 3 months), halos wala kaming pahinga. Inabot kami hanggang 10:00pm.

I asked the two to join us in a dinner at alam ko sabik na sila sa Arabian food so we went to Mister Kabab in West Avenue in QC para makatikim naman sila ng mga lutong na mi-miss nila.

First Photo Session

Last night, nagkita-kita ulit kami. I went earlier at Mar's place in Cubao, around 8:00pm. Lester was undecided to come kasi nga he was not feeling well dahil sa hng-over pa namin the other night, pero dahil na rin sa hindi kompleto ang tropa kung wala ang isa, dumating din siya. Dave was still driving somewhere in Munoz nang tinawagan ko, an after an hour dumating din siya.

Usapan na namin na mag bonding sa isang private place nang magdamagan. I go with Dave sa Tropper niya at sumakay naman si Mar sa kotseni Lester.

In less than an hour, nakarating kami sa place. Of course, hindi pa rin maalis yong kuwentuhan, then we played cards. Sad to say, mukhang mahina ako last night and i lost to them.


Later, tinawagan ni Mar yong isang bagong talent niya, si Francis. At ako naman, with my camera always ready, sinubukan ko siyang i-photoshoots at pumayag naman siya ng walang inhibition. At least baka kumita pa ako para gumawa ng profile nila.



Lester went home early at 5:00am dahil may pasok pa sa Hospital. Kami naman, naiwan at natulog till 10:00am.

Bgo ako umuwi, i dropped by at Farmer's Market to buy groceries para sa bahay.