One of the Filipino values that makes us different is our love for our family. Kadalasan, ang pamilya natin ang dahilan kung bakit tayo nagsusumikap para sa kapakanan nila. Minsan, we almost forgot that we have life of our own. We are bound to reciprocate whatever they have done to us. We are obliged to help our siblings sa kanilang studies.
Mahirap maging panganay dahil sa kanya puwedeng umasa ang gastos ng pag-aaral ng kanyang mga kapatid. Sometimes, we are burdened to take good care of our parents once they get old. Kahit may pamilya na, obligasyon pa rin ang tumulong sa pamilya.
Nakagisnan ko ang isang closely-knit family. For almost 20 years na sama-sama kami, I have seen how our parents sacrifice para makatapos kami. Sa apat naming magkakapatid, at bilang panganay na lalaki, I have to take care of my family kung wala ang father ko. Tuwing linggo, sama-sama kaming magsimba, mamasyal at tulong-tulong sa lahat ng gawain sa bahay.
Nang mamatay ang father ko, nangako ako na hindi ko pababayaan ang mother… financially at kahit nasa Saudi ako, I’ll make sure na pag umuwi ako, siya ang aking priority. Hindi naging madali sa akin ang asikasuhin ang pangangailangan ng mother ko because I also promised to my sister na ako rin ang sasagot sa gastos sa college (tuition and monthly allowances) ng niece ko. Of course, I need to sacrifice because I have an obligation na ipinangako sa kanila. Family first before my pleasure and happiness. I seldom spend for my own. Matipid ako dahil may pinaglalaanan. I stay most of the times sa bahay to avoid hefty spending dahil sa impulsive buyer ako.
Lahat ng ginagawa ko para sa kanila kahit may kanya-kanya na silang pamilya, still my concern is my mother and my sister’s family dahil mahihirapan din ang sister ko sa tuition ng mga anak niya sa college.
All the while, I thought everything is okey sa family ko despite the fact that I am here in Saudi Arabia. We never had any family problem before, kaya I was looking forward for a happy vacation especially this Christmas season dahil first time ko, for almost 10 years, to spend holidays with them.
However, isang matinding problema ang haharapin ko sa kanila, which started few weeks back. The problem is so sensitive that I need not to tell to anyone except my trusted friends. At first, I tried not to divulge to anyone about it, but it gave me sleepless night, emotional stress and worries which affects my health tremendously. All the while I could keep it to myself, pero hindi pala, I need people to boost my moral and give me strength dahil everytime I talk to my siblings, mas lalo akong affected dahil wala ako sa tabi nila. I suffer from HIVES (allergies) for almost a week. The doctor said that it was stress-related and histamines extract from my veins that cause the swelling and itchiness. This caused me to worry more. I keep on coming back to the hospital for an anti-allergy injections. There was a time that I went alone at 4:00 am at Al Mobarak Hospital amidst the rain and the weather outside.
First time kong ma-dextrose and stayed 7 hours sa hospital
Dahil nga sa bigat at seriousness ng problema ko na hindi ko pwedeng sabihin sa iba, some speculates at pinaghihinalaan nila about something na mas lalong dumagdag sa problema ko. I can’t blame them for the reason that I never confide my personal life to them. As much as possible I keep myself private… even my lovelife. Ang nakakalungkot lang, dahil sa gusto kong i-isolate ang sarili ko sa kanila para makapag-isip ako tungkol sa problema ko, kung ano-ano pang speculations ang naririnig ko. All I need are their prayers, consolation and understanding sa mga nangyayari ngayon, but only some dare to keep me hanging. Even to the point that I lost who I considered as my best trusted friends.. Hindi ko ginusto ang magkaroon ng problema, its just so happened na kailangan kong mag-isa, but needing someone whom I can lean on..pero lahat walang nangyari. They thought na mild lang ang problema ko or nagdra-drama lang ako, but God knows the load of my problem. Dito ko nasubukan kung sino talaga ang tunay kong kaibigan na pwedeng dumamay sa akin sa oras ng problema. Yong inaasahan mo na magbibigay ng support and encouragement, deadma despite na andoon ako pag may kailangan sila. It adds a little pain in my heart, pero siguro God want me to depend on Him at doon sa mga taong tumulong sa akin sa oras na kailangan ko sila. As they say, you can tell who your friends are if you can count how many knots they made on the rope in order for you not to fall.
The pendulum has not stopped from ticking. For me, every tick seems to be slower than the usual. Sa bawat minutong dumadaan, halos ang bagal para sa akin na hintayin ang araw ng aking pag-alis. I asked for early vacation pero hindi pumayag ang office naming since I have to end my contract until last week of November and my assistant delayed his vacation for more days in Pakistan because of the earthquake that ravage their village.
Until such time that I will be home, hindi pa rin ako mapakali at bothered ako lagi. I don’t know how to fix everything, pero I know, with God on my side, everything will be solved.
For me, I get my strength from my family. They are my life and happiness. Mas uunahin ko pa ang kapakanan nila kaysa sa akin. Kaya kung may problema sa family, I am the one much affected. I can sacrifice my own happiness for them. Mawala man lahat sa akin – my wealth, my friends and everything… wag lang makaranas ng problema at hirap ang pamilya ko..
To my friends who gave me comfort and strength.. I thank you.. God will reward your kindness in due time…
